All Things Shomo

Hiking Day

2011-12-02T16:19:00.001-05:00

Saturday morning after Thanksgiving... Mom and Cullen hiking at First Landing State Park in Virginia Beach. A great day!

Cullen 4.0

2011-11-26T17:08:00.004-05:00

Cullen is now 4 years old! It was a tough year compared to others, but these past two months Cullen has been doing extremely well physically and developmentally. We are grateful for the prayers of family and friends! Here are some recent pictures... especially for "Great Pop-Pop"!

The Cullen's Choice Awards!

2011-01-22T13:33:00.005-05:00

Presenting... the Cullen's Choice Awards!

As you can see, Cullen has learned the little boy art of enjoying a good, educational video. Those of you who have already seen Food, Inc. and the Temple Grandin movie might be looking for the next big educational video. So perhaps you probably wonder, what might Cullen recommend? Here's your answer...

One of the first videos Cullen grew to love was The Letter Factory, recommended by a friend who is a school teacher. This letter captivated Cullen and helped him learn all his letters and all their sounds. He has since graduated to The Talking Words Factory, also recommended.

Cullen loves Baby Babble and Baby Babble Two. Which is amazing, because the the plot is remarkably thin. Objects are shown, sounds are made, people appear and say things like "Mmmm" before quietly exiting the screen. Videos like this must be heavily researched, because you'd never guess something so stultifyingly simple could captivate a kid for hours. Similarly, the Teach2Talk and Teach2Play videos have been a giant crowd-of-one pleaser as Cullen's been learning to talk or engage in age-appropriate play.

The first Thomas video I bought was this one, because it was a collection of songs. The strategy seemed to work, because Cullen enjoyed it and grew to like the other Thomas videos too. But then again, kids just seem to love Thomas - I hear this is especially true of kids on the spectrum. I recently bought Thomas' Snowy Surprise at Walmart for $5 - an appropriate theme for the past month! Cullen calls it "Thomas Snow" with the emphasis on the word "snow."

A friend told us about the Laurie Berkner Band. Just bought this today, and Cullen has already tested it out. I think it's going to be a big winner. Which is good for Berkner, because if you receive Cullen's nod of approval you really could go far.

But as for Cullen... as long as the weather is cold outside, he's not going anywhere too far away!

Cupcake Cookies for Cullen!

2010-12-07T20:52:00.007-05:00

As you have hopefully heard by now, we are doing a fundraiser called "Cupcakes for Cullen" during the month of December! Our friend Angelique will make you six of the most exquisite cupcakes you can imagine for a $25 donation to Cullen's ABA therapy.

But there's a problem: we have had some inquires from out-of-town friends, but we can't ship the cupcakes.

We can, however, ship cookies!

Cookies are available in almond or vanilla and can be customized for any event, just like the cupcakes. Have a look at some examples....we know you won't be able to resist!

So, for all of our out-of-town friends, a donation of $25 or more to "Cupcakes for Cullen" will net you a certificate for a half dozen personalized cookies, carefully packaged and delivered to your door. The certificate is redeemable up to one year, plenty of time to plan for your next special occasion.

For all the fundraising details, click here!

FUNDRAISER: CUPCAKES FOR CULLEN!

2010-12-02T21:30:00.015-05:00

Q. When was the last time you donated to a great cause and netted six delicious, creative cupcakes at the same time?

A. Face it—it’s been far too long!

This month we are having a fundraiser to help with Cullen's therapy costs. For a donation of $25 or more, you will receive as a thank you gift a half dozen amazing and tasty cupcakes from Sweet Treats by Angelique.

You can request the Autism Awareness puzzle piece cupcakes shown with Cullen above, or choose an alternate theme for your cupcake toppers (a holiday theme, perhaps?). Check out Sweet Treats to see just how creative Angelique can be!

Our goal for this month is to raise $1000 for Cullen, which will pay for the cost of 40 hours of ABA therapy. ABA, or Applied Behavior Analysis, is the most fundamental therapy for children with autism, and the most successful. Studies show that children receiving a minimum of 20 hours per week of ABA therapy have the highest success rates in overcoming the significant developmental deficits of autism.

Donations can be made directly to the Mea’Alofa Autism Support Center: (757) 465-3933 or http://www.learnwithmasc.org/ and click "donate" for PayPal. If you donate online, please make a note that your donation is for “Cupcakes for Cullen.” (The note option appears near the end of the process--you may also use the "Contact" page to send a note to Mea Alofa.)

We will send you a gift certificate for six cupcakes that you can use anytime! Orders must be placed 1-2 weeks in advance, especially through the holiday season.

We are grateful for the many ways we are encouraged by our family and friends. Thank you so much for your interest in our journey with Cullen.

Cullen's Team - Part 1

2010-11-30T21:18:00.010-05:00

Bonnie and Lily are two of Cullen's ABA therapists. ABA has been shown to help kids make great gains in their development, and is highly individualized. I often say it's like Cullen has a tutor (or tutors, plural!). We recently received this summary concerning Bonnie and Lily's work with Cullen and thought we'd share it here...

Bonnie and Lily have had the privilege of working with Cullen for the past year as his ABA therapists. At the start of Cullen’s therapy his language was limited to one word and he had difficulty interacting with peers and adults. He was unable to show excitement using verbal or facial expressions. It is now easy to identify his excitement by his face, physical actions, and voice. In the past year, Cullen has acquired numerous skills including the beginnings of play skill imitation, the ability to communicate his wants and needs to others, academic skills such as identifying and labeling colors, letters, numbers, and responding to functional instructions.

Bonnie and Lily have enjoyed seeing Cullen succeed with difficult targets and interact with his peers. His improved ability to communicate his wants and needs and the development of his unique personality has by far been the most rewarding part of working with Cullen. It is exciting to see his progress and his increased interactions and it is an amazing feeling to know the impact that ABA and the staff at MASC have had on Cullen’s world.

The reference at the end is to Mea'Alofa Autism Support Center (MASC), which you can visit here.

Still Giving Thanks

2010-11-27T13:44:00.006-05:00

Above: It looks like a picture of a pilgrim from the first Thanksgiving, but in actuality this is Cullen in a pilgrim costume. Pretty good disguise, huh?

Below: A tree in our yard, from about 2 weeks ago. The leaves are all on the ground now!

Yes, these pictures are belated and so is this Thanksgiving post. We are thankful, however, for many things... For Jesus Christ and the good news we call the gospel--that God was, is, and will be with us forever, and that in Jesus our sins are forgiven and we are declared sons and daughters of God. For a great son, and for many lessons learned as a family during our journey this past year. And for the chance to see Dr. Kenneth Bock just a few weeks ago--a new round of improvements seems to be taking place for Cullen...

By the way, we've posted a variety of videos on Facebook if you haven't been there recently.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Autism: The Parent-Driven Life

2010-10-29T15:54:00.004-04:00

Parents always play the biggest role in a child’s life. This is how it’s meant to be. But with autism, there seems to be a unique dynamic: parents at the forefront of discovering treatments and solutions for their children with autism, sometimes even leading to a recovery that would not have happened if they relied solely on mainstream medical advice.

Basically, the world of autism is a world of highly involved, educated parents. The operative word in this world, however, is not education or knowledge but “hope.” Many parents find that their pediatricians are not particularly hopeful, but when they move outside the mainstream they find a lot of hope. Hope that’s cultivated by stories of children who have made significant, and sometimes completely incredible, gains because the parents did not rely on what they were first told.

Actually, Cheryl has read quite a few books by parents who have be hopeful, proactive, and (as needed) pushy – and as a result, saw their child come out of autism. Or, as they say, “lose the diagnosis.”

The parent-drivenness was really highlighted for me earlier this year when Cheryl went to a conference of medical professionals (MDs and PhDs giving talks on treatment) that was populated also with educated, involved parents (mostly moms).

It was also highlighted for me – and Cheryl hates when I tell this story – when Cheryl met with a pediatrician and discussed options for Cullen. What was remarkable to me was the degree to which Cheryl spoke his language and on his level, and occasionally (sorry, Cheryl) made gentle corrections to his statements. (“Generally that test is not used in a situation like this…” “Yes, but when such and such is the case they use this test instead of that one.” “Well, that’s true.”)

You notice I highlight my wife here. That’s because she truly has been the Researcher in Residence for Cullen, reading books by leading physicians and researchers and attending “support group” meetings that are more like seminars than support groups. (We recently puzzled over an autism “support group” dramatized on a TV show. In that group, parents sat around in a circle and talked about their feelings. In the support groups we attend, parents are activists and fighters sharpening weapons for the battle against school systems and insurance companies, and sharing information on treatments, nutrition, and new studies.)

For a child with autism, the parents are the best advocates and need to be the best advocates. For a child with autism, parents need to become very, very educated—because a lot more is being learned every day, and there’s a lot of hope if you go looking for it. For a child with autism, parents need to be on top of everything from the child’s diet to the child’s doctors to the child’s therapies to the child’s playtime to the child’s… everything.

More on this soon! But the main point I wanted to make is how amazing it is that, in the world of autism, research and remedies are so significantly parent-driven. It’s exciting, but also exhausting!

Stuff Cullen Likes

2010-10-21T09:47:00.005-04:00

Some stuff Cullen likes:

1. Frogs

2. Fountains

3. Flying

4. The Ocean (my oh my does he like the ocean)

5. Go Go Car (this is quite different than “go go stroller” or “stay stay home” – actually, one of the first exciting “sentences” Cullen ever said was when we were in an antique shop and Cullen said, with great earnestness, “I want go go CAR.” Henceforth, “go go car” has become synonymous with “may we please blow this popsicle stand and do something truly interesting?”)
6. Dinosaurs, Lizards, and other things that say “roar”

7. Slides and Stairs

8. Brocci (much easier to say, and spell, than broccoli)

9. The end of songs (this is when you get to applaud and say “yay!” – not sure how this started)

10. Singing along (a new development)

For proof of some of these, see Cullen's Facebook page. Just posted a new video of Cullen, brocci, and "singing." But one thing I've realized is that Cullen is a low talker, so you have to listen up!

Anatomy of a Good Week

2010-10-15T21:44:00.002-04:00

This past week was a good week. Since I’d like to have more good weeks, I thought I would analyze this one… What made it so good?

1. Cheryl’s parents visited.

2. Great weather. (See #3 and #4, below.)

3. Visit to the beach with Cheryl, her parents and Cullen. Pics on Cheryl’s Facebook tell the story...

4. Visit to the Norfolk Botanical Gardens. Nice place, and we ended up with a season pass cheap. This will be a good place to take Cullen, walk, explore, etc.

5. Visit to Yorktown. Cheryl’s dad and I arrived to the battlefield just in time for the walking tour, which was quite moving… because the history of the battle itself is a pretty amazing story.

6. Cheryl’s birthday!

7. Cullen seemed to do quite well this past week. He’s (almost) always a joy to be around, but this week his everyday charm was combined with other signs of steady development.

Okay, there you have it. You now have all the ingredients you need for a good, even great, week.

The Social Network

2010-10-09T05:13:00.004-04:00

Cullen has a pretty wide social network. He has mom and dad, known also as chief researcher and play therapist respectively. He has a speech therapist, a team of ABA therapists, multiple doctors, teachers and friends at preschool, a team of "attendants", grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. He has a budding online network too.

Nevertheless, one of the hallmarks of autism is a deficiency in understanding and imitating social cues. In extreme cases, this might mean an autistic child is drawn completely into his or her own world, not interacting at all with the outside world—this is the image I once had of autism. But it might also mean that a child keeps quite active yet has a hard time “getting” the social stuff, which can create “non-typical” behaviors.

Last year, around the time Cullen was first diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, he was more extreme than now. His would not make good eye contact, did not choose to engage with you (he’d duck and run), preferred repetitive behavior, and preferred repetitive behavior.

Cullen has greatly improved in the past year. His eye contact is better, he will stay focused on a task (well, some tasks), and he’s even affectionate.

But as it turns out, life is pretty social…relational. So the social problem shows up in all sorts of ways, many of them subtle. Turns out pointing is a social thing—that’s one thing Cullen cannot seem to comprehend. Language is of course social—if you say “Hi Cullen” he is likely to respond “Hi Cullen.” When he does say “hi” it is still often while he’s on the run or turning away. But he’s getting there.

It wasn’t always this way for Cullen—we so remember how he, as a little 7 month old, “held court” at his great-grandparents' house. He was squealing and laughing and enjoying being the center of attention. But something went wrong before age 2, and he withdrew. And after lots of intervention, he’s been making a comeback.

We’re busy, and we’re thankful.

Autism: Just the Facts

2010-10-07T11:00:00.006-04:00

One year ago, just after his second birthday, Cullen was diagnosed with autism. Since that time, we have learned much about this world that we knew virtually nothing about before. Actually, we've learned about a lot more than just autism...our view on so many things has grown or shifted.

We've decided to begin sharing some of what we've learned with our family and friends. That's you! We have also started a Facebook page for Cullen. You can go there and "like" Cullen's page if you're interested.

Here's a good place to start... Top 10 Facts about Autism. In future posts, we'll take a more personal look at one family's journey into this world--this sadly expanding but ever hopeful subculture--of autism.

Top 10 Facts about Autism

1. Autism is a neurological and medical disorder in which the parts of the brain that control communication, behavior, social interaction, learning, sensation, and motor coordination aren’t functioning properly.

2. Autism is unique in that it can strike unexpectedly, seemingly out of nowhere. A healthy and neurologically typical infant can suddenly regress into autism between the ages one and two.

3. The rate of autism in 1983 was 1 in 10,000 children.

4. The latest research in the journal Pediatrics reveals that autism affects 1 in 91 children (1 in 58 boys), with 673,000 currently affected. The CDC’s latest study shows a rate of 1 in 110 children (1 in 70 boys). 50,000 new diagnoses will be made yearly.

5. Autism has become one of the most widespread childhood epidemics in recorded history.

6. The exact cause or causes of autism are unknown. It is increasingly affirmed that there are clearly environmental (i.e., not just genetic) factors at play.

7. Each person with autism is affected in different ways and to varying degrees. Some show only a few autistic characteristics, others display many or all.

8. Early signs of autism include lack of eye contact, lack of babbling, lack of engagement with new people, obsessions with certain toys, lack of imaginary play, engagement in obsessive repetitive movements, unusual sleep patterns, and sensory issues (extreme sensitivity to tags in clothing, or to sound, for example).

9. Many children with autism also have medical issues such as gastrointestinal dysfunction, immune deficiency, and seizures.

10. Through nutritional and medical intervention and intensive therapy (such as language, occupational, and behavioral therapy), some children completely recover from autism to the point of losing the diagnosis, while a vast majority make significant improvements. Early detection and intervention is paramount.

Compiled from “The Autism Book” by Dr. Robert Sears.

Cullen Photo Shoot

2010-09-25T08:49:00.006-04:00

Happy Birthday, Cullen!

2010-08-17T07:20:00.003-04:00

Today Cullen turns three years old! He is glad to have his cousin Kelly and Aunt Lisa visiting... here are some pictures from Saturday at the beach (he was still two then, but don't let that confuse you.)

Tale of Two Mowers

2010-06-28T20:33:00.009-04:00

Cullen on Ice

2010-06-27T15:22:00.005-04:00

So it turns out that Cullen is reeeeally good at ice skating. Or, as we like to call it--Hockey!

Thanks, Deb and Jim, for the "Eat-Sleep-Hockey" shirt--or as we like to call it, his uniform.

Here is Cullen with Elizabeth, his skating teacher--or as we like to call her, his hockey coach.

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Some behind the scenes pictures. Getting ready with Mom...

And, time to go home. Or, as Cullen likes to say: "Ah-dah." (Translation: All done!)

Needless to say, we were quite impressed with Cullen's showing on the ice. And special thanks to Elizabeth!

Pennsylvania Duck Factory

2010-05-20T19:01:00.011-04:00

So last week we were in Lititz, Pennsylvania, right above Lancaster. Cullen was very interested in the fountain as you can tell, but also by the...

Ducks!

Ducks are fun close up...

Or even far away...

Cullen's Mom and Uncle Jeff were in on the duck action as you can see. So was I, but I was doing nature photography and had to be candid.

After the downtown duck outing, we had dinner at a great little restaurant. This is Cheryl's family -- Cheryl, Jeff, Mom, Dad, and Cullen. Again, I'm the one behind the camera.

Here are some other quick pics from the ducks' natural habitat...

Their church:

Their ancestors...

And their own train stop. Flying south for the winter is very ecofriendly, but trains are so much more fun!

And this one is for our friends Joel and Elizabeth... Alas! Sorry you were visiting Virginia when we were visiting Pennsylvania!

Cullen Rewind!

2010-05-16T15:18:00.006-04:00

Last week we were up in Lancaster, PA with Cheryl's family. It was a nice visit to a nice place with nice people, like Cullen's grandpa...

In case you're wondering what they're looking at, I should tell you that Cullen was very fascinated by the family videos we were playing!

We were watching video from Cullen's first birthday party at the Saber home in 2008!

Incidentally, we were quite interested to notice how in those videos Cullen was very attentive and was performing skills he later lost to the autism spectrum (such as throwing a ball, making good eye contact, attempting speech). We are currently trying to recapture those skills. This kind of normal progress, followed by decline, is why many parents and doctors are suspicious that autism is on the rise due in part to outside factors. Please pray with us as Cullen recovers best as God allows (hopefully a full recovery some day)--ultimately, it's in His good hands.

We have a lot of other great pics to show from the trip! I'll post more in the coming days.

Trick My Trike

2010-05-07T07:00:00.000-04:00

Cullen's Lady Friend

2010-05-06T17:00:00.000-04:00

This is Cullen's friend Elizabeth. She helps Cullen a few days a week and is a very good friend of his!

And for my next trick...

2010-05-04T12:00:00.000-04:00

Walk for your little life!

2010-05-02T15:09:00.006-04:00

Thanks to everyone who sponsored Cullen for the Walk for Life! We had a great, sunny day yesterday doing the Walk and enjoying the Norfolk Zoo.

Here's our family...

Cullen and I with our friends Sean and Aidan:

A group of us from church met up... we asked someone to take a picture... they left out the kids... umm, they were kinda important but oh well!

Cullen enjoyed looking at the animals! (Actually, that's blog-speak for, "Cullen was a bit hard to please. He wanted to run around in the dirt. But we coaxed him into looking at some of the animals and tried to teach him that ducks and elephants are not just found in books and puzzles.")

Some of the animals he saw...

The little chicks are pretty important. The speaker at the beginning of the Walk gave the illustration of the way cars will get backed up on Greenbrier Rd because policemen are trying to escort a duck and her chicks across the street (that happens around here). Little babies are just as helpless, especially before they're born. We need to be like those policemen, and help them get safely into the world and to where they're going!

Circus Acts

2010-04-17T07:48:00.003-04:00

Yesterday Cullen's preschool went to the Greatest Show on Earth.

We were surprised at how well Cullen relaxed and enjoyed the show. He sat (relatively) still for the better part of 2 hours. We especially enjoyed the motorcycles... this photo doesn't capture it well, but they had 7 motorcycles speeding around in here without the need for an ambulance.

Interesting that the night before the circus Cullen was practicing summersaults. "Cullensaults" as they will soon come to be known...

We are hoping he's not planning to run away and join the circus. We want to keep him here!

Team Player

2010-04-10T07:02:00.004-04:00

Cullen is very much a team player. It's just a matter of choosing a team...

Cardinals, to celebrate his mother's St. Louis heritage? And to make Grandpa proud?

Or the Tigers, to celebrate his dad's home state?

Well, Cullen, you gotta choose...

In Honor of Baseball Season

2010-04-07T06:21:00.004-04:00

We have a t-ball set for Cullen that he was previously disinterested in. But this past weekend, he pulled it out of the shed himself (that's huge) and got to work.

Okay, so we need a little work on form. But otherwise, this is a wonderful development!

Easter Weekend... Just the Boys!

2010-04-04T15:13:00.006-04:00

This weekend, a last minute change of plans left Cheryl in St. Louis with her mom while I'm here at home with Cullen. And the boys had a great weekend...

Here's Cullen and my friend Chris. We cooked out on (Good) Friday night.

I shouldn't have let Cullen see all that manly meat, because he decided to protest his organic burger the next night... I've never seen him do this before: he moved all the pieces as far away on the plate as possible! I think he was trying to send a message - notice he's doing sign language for "all done" (or is that the sign for "I beg of you please, I don't want this, take it away"?)

Cheryl was worried that I wouldn't pick out a good outfit for Cullen for Easter. She wanted something colorful and festive. But just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I don't know how to dress my son for Easter! I found this very colorful and festive outfit--notice all the colors in the shirt in particular.

This outfit was the runner-up.

I had invited two people over after church, since we had leftovers from (Good) Friday night. Then two other people were looking for a place to go. Oh, and they brought three others with them as well!

So it was back to the grill...

Can you tell the grill is smiling? It feels fulfilled because it's living out its purpose in life.

We're smiling too, but we'll be glad when Cheryl's back home!

Autism Awareness Day: A Tale of Three Pediatricians

2010-04-02T15:18:00.005-04:00

Cullen was diagnosed last September as being on the autism spectrum. This launched us into a world we knew nothing about, and we have learned a whole lot since then. I’ve wanted to post some thoughts for a while, but wasn’t sure how or when to do this… since I just found out today is Autism Awareness Day, I’ve decided to bite the bullet and tell you a tale of three pediatricians.

The first pediatrician was a bit harsh. This was before Cullen was diagnosed and, in fact, before any symptoms of autism appeared. We had been hesitant about the vaccine regiment and therefore were taking it slow. He decided scare tactics were the best policy. So we switched to another pediatrician.

The second pediatrician I want to tell you about was referred to us because he himself has an autistic child. By the time we saw him, autism was a suspicion and this was in fact the doctor that confirmed this diagnosis. He is a great guy. He did not believe vaccines were a problem whatsoever, but he was very respectful of our need to work through the issues and make decisions as Cullen’s mom and dad. He’s the most responsive doctor I’ve ever had; he would spend a full hour talking with us in spite of his demanding schedule, and then email us information with 20 attachments. He helped put us in touch with local support groups which would ultimately lead us to Pediatrician #3.

The third pediatrician is a DAN! doctor. “DAN!” is not an expletive but instead stands for “Defeat Autism Now!” This is a group of doctors who believe that autism is treatable and that therapy is not the only solution. You see, mainstream pediatricians pretty much say there is no known cause for autism and the only solution is a lot of therapy. It’s a life sentence. DAN! doctors, on the other hand, are more hopeful concerning discovering the cause, and finding the most effective biomedical treatments, for autism.

Here’s how this played out in our case:

Pediatrician #1 should be ashamed of himself and Pediatrician #2 is a great guy. Pediatrician #3, however (the DAN! doctor), has been the most aggressive and hopeful. From day one she said, “We will get Cullen over this.” She laid out all her research, explained what she thought was going on in Cullen’s case, and began prescribing a number of supplements to begin reversing what she sees as underlying biomedical issues. The very next day we began to see positive changes taking place.

As a parent of an autistic child, here is what I’d like you to know—whether you have an autistic child or not.

First, there are different kinds of pediatricians when it comes to addressing autism. Unfortunately, because the battle over autism's cause and treatment sometimes gets completely irrational, these two groups aren’t really in communication with one another.

Second, the Shomos believe that autism is treatable and kids are getting better. Sadly, this message is only slowly beginning to leak out. I’m shocked at how poorly this is understood, and by some of the very bad press that I see concerning autism that would pretty much prevent this info from getting out! I'm not saying we know what causes or cures autism; it seems to be a constellation of issues, different for each child. But I do believe that there is worthwhile research and treatments that you won't hear about without digging deeper. We have learned a ton of stuff that I’d be happy to share with anyone who’d like to talk about it.

Finally, let me mention that our hope is ultimately in the Great Physician, Jesus Christ. We have had the elders at our church pray for Cullen, and in fact that proved to be the pivotal week for Cullen—the week he saw the DAN! doctor (we almost had cancelled this appointment) and made some immediate progress. I believe that this is one of those prayers that’s going to be answered through a long slog, although I optimistically keep expecting to turn that final corner...

The Great Physician is also working in mom and dad. We’ve learned a lot, grown a lot, gained a lot more empathy than we once had. Our hope is not so much in Cullen getting 100% better as in God’s commitment to our family no matter what the future brings.

Relaxation: Your How-To Guide

2010-03-28T13:59:00.004-04:00

Nowadays it seems people don't know how to simply relax. We're always on the go. Yes, there are even some in our extended family who, if the truth were only known, are a bit more "on the go" than may be healthy.

So as a community service project, Cullen and I offer you the following illustrations of relaxation.

First, the "classic" pose:

And then there's the more contemporary "techno-snuggle" which can be with either mom...

Or, with slight adjustment, with Dad:

Please, try these at home.

"Welcome to Holland"

2010-03-10T11:13:00.010-05:00

This was recently posted to one of my autism support group discussion lists. It is a great analogy.

By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987. All rights reserved.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Cullen - New Pictures and Impersonations

2010-03-05T06:36:00.001-05:00

February was a good month for Cullen, and March 2010 is looking like it's going to be a good one too. Sorry pictures have been so long in coming...

The pictures above are Cullen doing his "Armbrecht impersonation." He tries to look like his mommy's side of the family... He's getting pretty good at it, but don't you agree he still looks an awful lot like daddy?

This one you gotta see--Cullen putting together his "Cullen doll." They made this at preschool, and he really, really enjoys dressing up himself.

Here's Cullen amidst his flashcards, caught on camera... now we know just who has been taking his socks off when we're not looking!

And, as you can see, early in the morning Cullen likes to get up and catch up on his reading... this is probably when he looks the most like daddy!

Hey, thanks to all who are praying for Cullen. We are very thankful for how he's growing and developing his skills. We'll try to post more pictures soon!

Winter in Virginia Beach

2010-01-30T07:41:00.004-05:00

Here's the view this morning...

Yes, it is snowing in Virginia Beach today. In fact, it's 7:30 AM now and they expect this to continue throughout the day. Sadly, Cullen will not get to enjoy it (and we won't get to enjoy him enjoying it)...he's visiting St. Louis right now where they have bitter cold without snow.

So to my Michigan family, I guess this removes the two reasons you had to visit me: Cullen and good weather.

Well, you can always write...

Cullen's Computer

2010-01-11T16:16:00.004-05:00

Not Cullen's actually, but he had such a fun time playing with it when we took dinner to a friend's house. Thank you Aidan for sharing your computer! We here in southeastern Virginia are anxiously awaiting the weather to warm up to something reasonable!

Just a Few Christmas Pictures

2009-12-25T13:02:00.005-05:00

Merry Christmas, everyone! We had a quiet Christmas morning here at Shomo Southeast. Well, not completely quiet, as Cullen played with a rather loud train that his grandma and grandpa sent his way. It may not look loud, but it is!

Some more pictures...

Cullen's Recent Adventures

2009-12-19T21:31:00.007-05:00

Some recent pictures of Cullen. He's getting pretty big...

While he likes his firetruck, we also catch him watching TV once in a while. He deserves a little down time... but it's purely educational programming!

He likes to draw with his Magna Doodle. He's getting pretty good at it!

He's actually keeping quite busy these days. These were just a few pictures we were able to squeeze in, since he's usually on the go!

Thanksgiving 2009

2009-11-26T19:05:00.002-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving from the Shomos!

Cullen has a variety of reasons to smile...

Sadly, he can't eat this, but we will help him out:

Thank you, Lord, for our family...

...and for your gracious work in our lives.

Visitation Rights

2009-11-19T09:00:00.000-05:00

Did you know that Cullen's Uncle Jim visited a couple months ago? This marked his first visit since we've been in Virginia... in fact, I think it marks his first visit since we've been married... perhaps even since I moved out of the house at age 18. Anyway, here he is with his nephew:

I'll let you decide what Cullen's expression means...

But speaking of Cullen having a ball, here's a picture you may enjoy.

Well, when Uncle Jim came down to Virginia he noted that many things were broken. Our van was broken, our DVD player was broken, etc. But that didn't come close to matching Aunt Lisa's visit these last few days!

Lisa arrived on Wednesday from beautiful, sunny Michigan. She arrived to storms, winds, floods, and general destruction.

The power went out on Thursday evening, as it did for (allegedly) 350,000 others in our metro area.

Fortunately, it was back on by Saturday afternoon (!). This was perfect, giving Lisa the ability to see what she was doing as she packed her bags to leave!

However, she didn't leave before she blessed her nephew with this brand new keyboard! Here he is, having a great time and perhaps even showing off...

Thanks for visiting, Jimmy and Lisa!

Why Blogs Die (and, My Continuing Education)

2009-11-09T05:44:00.006-05:00

Why do blogs die? I believe the a consistent commitment to writing is difficult because it requires time, focus, and honesty. The first two requirements are obvious. Regarding honesty, I'm not saying that dis-honesty kills blogs necessarily; but sometimes it is inappropriate to share with the whole world one's current, deepest thoughts.

It's kind of like any relationship, I suppose.

The first blog I started was Bible in the Basement and, way back in the day, I was pretty regular about writing on it and was surprised at how many people read it. I had expected zero, and the number edged above that. However, time commitments radically changed due to pregnancy, sickeness, and moving, and that blog had to retire its jersey. Smarty experienced similar upheaval.

Lately, it's been hard to write because I've been embroiled in continuing education classes that have taken a toll on my resources. Not much extra time. Very little mental and emotional energy remaining. And, to be honest...well, I probably shouldn't share that.

So, I thought that for the time being I'd share the classes I've been taking over the last year. They include:

1. Christianity 101
2. Pastoral Leadership Revisited
3. How to Preach To Self and Others
4. Spiritual Gifts Assessment
5. Christianity 101 (had to audit this one again)
6. The Discipling Pastor
7. EmoHealth

And a few others in the marriage & family category, too.

So, I've been learning a lot and I'd like to be able to share some of what I've learned sometime soon.

Uh oh, gotta go.

Ready... Get (Art) Set... Go!

2009-10-12T07:00:00.000-04:00

As seen on my mom's blog, she is currently on site and visiting Cullen (and us)! This is part of Amazing Race Virginia Beach '09, in which a variety of contestants seek to visit us before year's end. Cheryl's parents followed the clues, passed the survival skills test, and made it here last month. Now Mom & Wayne.

Karen and Lisa are representing Howell, MI, and have forwarded along a great gift! Cullen loves this art table!

Here are some "outtakes" - behind the scenes pictures of all of us banding together to complete this week's skills challenge: putting together the art table.

Cullen added his help, since he was so eager to get drawing...

Stay tuned...

Cullen's Coupe

2009-09-26T07:00:00.003-04:00

On the way back from vacation, we stopped to look at a new used car for Cullen. We saw it for sale at the side of the road. It was something he had always wanted, ever since he saw one when he was (where else?) at his Uncle Norm's house.

It was kind of humorous. Jim (Cullen's grandpa) and I were looking over the car to see if it was in acceptable condition. We checked out the tires, examined whether the horn worked, noted the overall condition... finally I realized, you know, we're talking about a kid's toy here.

Cullen took the whole thing just as seriously, however. In true Uncle Norm style, he even got underneath and checked it out himself!

It's a good thing we bought the car, too. This past week our van died. So reassuring to know that we have a second vehicle!

Outer Banks, Part Two: Cullen Was There Too!

2009-09-22T06:34:00.004-04:00

Yes, Cullen was present and accounted for at the Outer Banks! He enjoyed his moment in the sun...

And we enjoyed him!

The Shomos including Cullen especially enjoyed Roanoke Island/Manteo. We found a little restaurant along the bay.

Cullen's grandparents were there, too. In fact, they were a pretty important piece of the pie...

We including Cullen are back now, although we would appreciate another vacation sometime soon!

Outer Banks, Part One: Making the Climb

2009-09-20T17:00:00.007-04:00

So we went to North Carolina's Outer Banks. People there like to surf, ride bikes, walk along the beach, and generally enjoy life at sea level.

To celebrate, I wore my South Carolina flip flops. (Thanks, jandatell!) Those flip flops ended up doing a lot of unexpected climbing, however...

For example. On Wednesday we drove to Corolla where the highlight was the Currituck lighthouse.

For the low price of $7/person you could climb the stairs to the top. Great view!

Below: Same great view, but with me photoshopped in. (Easy way to photoshop yourself into a picture: take two pictures, one with you in it.)

Cheryl climbed with me.

We were given stickers.

(Notice the famed flip flop?)

On Thursday we drove the opposite direction. The tallest lighthouse in the country is apparently this one, located on Cape Hatteras:

More climbing!

Friday I visited the Wright Brothers memorial with my father-in-law Jim. In the picture below, we are standing at the first airplane's take off point, and the white stones in the background mark how far the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th flights went.

I was pretty impressed with Wilbur and Orville, these guys invented motorized flight and documented it with photos back in the day before cameras were a common companion--industrious, intelligent, tech-savvy, revolutionary guys. (I never met them--this is just my impression.)

And lo and behold... another climb awaited me. This time, to the top of the hill that the Wright brothers used for hang gliding in their spare time.

Here's a picture of the Wright brothers' plane, and that same hill in the background.

Here's a closeup of the memorial on top of the hill...

And the view from the top. You can see those white stones again, and the Wright brothers' hanger and hangout.

And for the Shomo family: See the rentals and the ocean in the distance? You could be staying there Summer 2010! Bring flip flops!

Summer's Over, Time for Vacation!

2009-09-13T21:05:00.004-04:00

That looks about right...

Yes, it's time for a belated vacation. It has been an incredibly busy summer. Someone said to me last week "I hope you have good weather," and I said, "I really don't care!" Well, now I kind of care. Some nice weather would be, well, nice. But really, I'm mainly looking forward to some time to recharge, read, spend time with Cullen and Cheryl and her family, and take some walks. That's all. Everything else will be a bonus.

And I can't think of a better place to go than a strip of sand that jets out into the ocean and, as luck would have it, stays just barely above sea level. Also known as the Outer Banks.

I'll only be able to be reached by carrier pidgeon. But feel free to send one if you really need me.

See ya!

Who Had the Funnest Summer?

2009-09-05T12:00:00.002-04:00

This is not as easy a question to answer as you might think.

Of course, Cullen has had a great summer. Enjoying the outdoors:

Learning to take a picture of himself with the digital camera:

Figuring out new devices:

And playing with Dad:

Cullen clearly had a great summer. But, there's a dark horse in this contest. Or rather, a red one (who is not technically a horse).

Coming in at least a close second in the "funnest summer" contest is Smarty, who has been enjoying all the benefits of Camp Anne!

If "enjoying" is the right word...

Hang in there, Smarty, you'll make it!

Hopefully...

Circa 1983 - Fireproof

2009-08-21T19:32:00.003-04:00

I was pretty happy to be tagged on Facebook with this photo. This was my 8th grade soccer team. Can you tell which one is me? Hint: I'm not the blonde haired kid or the tall one in the back row.

One of the kids in this photo went on to start a fire in the field by my house. Yep, playing with matches. He burned his tennis shoes and singed his eyebrows. The fire department was called. He told his mom he ruined his shoes by putting out a fire with his feet and got a nice new pair of shoes...

Stories of God's Grace

2009-08-21T19:00:00.001-04:00

This post was written for my other little blog at http://newcovenantpca.blogspot.com/. Just in case your interested.

* * *

Has God been gracious to your family? Are you prepared to tell your children the story of God's grace?

The classic passage on instructing children, at least in the Old Testament, is Deuteronomy 6:1-9. There we are told to continually talk with our children about God's law (His word, His rules, His ways). What might be a little less familiar is the end of the chapter, where we are told to tell our children stories. And not just cute stories but serious, glorious, stories of God's works.

“When your son asks you in time to come, ‘What is the meaning of the testimonies and the statutes and the rules that the Lord our God has commanded you?’ then you shall say to your son, ‘We were Pharaoh's slaves in Egypt. And the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. And the Lord showed signs and wonders, great and grievous, against Egypt and against Pharaoh and all his household, before our eyes. And he brought us out from there... (Deuteronoomy 6:20-23a.)

In other words, our children are bound to ask us at some point, "Why do we believe all this stuff?" Certainly they'll be asking when they are a teenager if not sooner!

What is striking to me is this. We are not told to engage in a heavy philosophical debate, such as, "Well, son, the Christian worldview is the one belief system that makes sense of the world as it really is..." This would be my natural approach. And there's a place for this kind of reasoning, to be sure.

What we're told to first tell our children is much more dynamic. We are told to tell them a story of God's grace--"We were in desperate straits. Apart from God we'd still be in a terrible mess. But He delivered us. So we're going to follow Him!"

The most profound story that we all share is the story of redemption in Jesus Christ. But I believe we should also tie that grand story to our personal story of God's redemption. For example, I can tell my son when he grows up, "I had no meaningful relationship with my dad. My mom was an example of faith, but I rebelled against God anyway and became an arrogant, foolish young man. But God rescued me; He saved me and changed my heart radically. And He put role models in my life to teach me His ways, and He blessed me with your mother who is a very wise woman. Apart from these graces of God, who knows what mess our family would be in. So we're going to keep following Him!"

What's your story? Have your kids heard it yet?

Boys Meet Birthdays

2009-08-18T20:06:00.022-04:00

I am not what you would call "good at birthdays". I now have two birthdays, five days apart, to keep up with. First we witness Ken's:

Ken had what is known as an "Un-themed Birthday". (We won't mention how old he is.) We actually had a fun day. We did the beach in the morning, then went to Abeulo's (new Mexican place) for lunch. These unfortunate photos were taken in the parking lot there... Jeff and Aubrey seem to be able to take good pix of themselves like this, why not us?? We did cake at our bible study that night. Local bakery reviews were perused for the purchase of this year's cake...I was quite proud of myself!

Cullen on the other hand, had a "Dinosaur Birthday". We held a party for him a few days before the actual big day, with guests in his honor. People have asked, "What do you do for a two year old's birthday?" My answer: "More than you'd think." I was especially proud of his dinosaur cupcakes.

Alternatively, Cullen wanted no part of a delicious dinosaur cupcake.

We'll close with two of Cullen's favorite gifts: Baby Einstein's "Animal Friends" CD, and Dusty the Talking Vacuum. Ken's gifts weren't nearly as exciting!!

Boy Meets Sprinkler

2009-08-16T20:25:00.002-04:00

New experiences around every corner...

Gotta face it like a man. Or at least, like a boy.

Play it cool.

I think we can all learn a little lesson here!

Panera on the Cheap

2009-08-10T20:54:00.005-04:00

Panera is my favorite "second place." Plenty of tables and windows, and quite flexible. You can spend $2 for coffee and then milk that for a couple hours. Or, you can spend more for a "You Pick Two" (Frontega Chicken and Broccoli Cheddar Soup, with french bread) and a small drink. Oh, and a cookie. But that gets expensive.

I guess that is the problem. It's actually two extremes... Mere coffee or a filling, fattening feast.

The other day I needed, desperately, a place to study.
* Obvious answer: Panera.
* Problem: it was lunchtime, and I didn't want to spend too much.

This is the story of how I gamed the system.

Should I go to Panera? It's right there. But I need lunch... I really can't keep spending money on eating out.

I know what I'll do: I will only order soup. You get soup and bread, pretty filling, and it's cheap. Like, just over $3. It's the loophole that Panera has not yet tied. Only I know this.

Moments later:

Hmm, they raised the price of the soup. But not by too much... Mmm, corn chowder sounds good.

"May I help you?"

"Corn chowder soup, please."

"With french baguette?"

"Yes." (Yes! Yes! It's working!)

"Anything to drink?"

"Just a cup for water, thanks." (I don't fall for that one. They have lemons. I'll be fine.)

"Would you like a cookie with that?"

"No thank you." Pause. "Unless you're on commission or something." (Obviously they don't sell cookies on commission.)

"No, but we're kind of having a contest about who can sell the most of them."

NO!!! You can't combine soft cookies and heated competition - that's a combination that cannot be resisted. Auuugghhh.

"Okay, I'll take one."

"That will be $6.05."

No! I don't have change! That means I'm basically spending $7 since change doesn't count as actual money. Well, now I have to use a credit card so I can round it down.

At the table:

This can be fixed. I will give the cookie to Cheryl. Or half of it. What the heck, she doesn't want this wretched thing. Okay, I hope I get some good study time in.

Four hours later, I left Panera. That's about $1.50 per hour.

Or, if you divide by $7, about $1.75 per hour...

Could this be the world's finest city?

2009-07-28T21:29:00.007-04:00

It may seem strange to some, but I now love Newark, NJ.

Last week I led a group from our church up to Newark to join with a church called Comunidade Crista Presbiteriana (translated Christian Community Presbyterian Church). This began as a Portuguese-speaking church but now has services in Spanish, English, and Portuguese.

Here are the three pastors who lead the respective services... Pastors Renato, Glauber, and Christian.

Last week they were getting our help for a Vacation Bible School that would reach out to kids not only from their own church but also kids from pretty unstable homes in the nearby projects.

We taught the Bible and about the Bible. We used my old church's giant Bible as a prop. We memorized verses. We gave them a place to be. We tried to be patient. We pointed to Jesus. We did all we could to show them love. We told them to please come back to the church anytime.

Incidentally, it's a church that plays very loud music.

Here's the team from our church, before we left:

And here's the team at the end of the week, with new friends:

Here's the big problem, though. No picture can capture the...
* Chaos
* Noise
* Intensity
* Insanity
* Hard work
* Love
* Joy

of the week.

So... I don't know what else to say.

When our week came to a close, no one wanted to leave Newark. Mainly because of all the new friends.

So hey, Brick City--we look forward to seeing you again soon!

(Thanks to James & Brittany for photos.)

Beach boy

2009-06-29T21:31:00.004-04:00

We did a quick trip to the ocean this a.m. I think we'll be back :-) (After all we do all need tans.)

Thoughts While Cheryl's Away

2009-06-22T21:26:00.004-04:00

Currently I'm experiencing life without my wife and son. Here are the top thoughts that I find going through my head...

5. Hope I don't forget to tell Cheryl that.
4. Hope Cheryl doesn't find out about that (don't worry, she will--this is usually in reference to housekeeping matters).
3. Sure would be nice to have that iPod back.
2. Wonder what Cullen's up to. Boy, he was a cute little ringbearer.

And, last but not least...

1. Man, it's going to take up my whole day to keep this place neat!

Come home!!

Cullen the Ringbearer

2009-06-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

Yes, Cullen finally fulfilled his destiny to be a ringbearer! He was an integral part to the marriage of his cousin Kelly to her new husband Matt on June 14, 2009. Below is how it all played out...

Haunted University

2009-06-17T08:41:00.006-04:00

Cheryl and I were in Michigan last week for a family wedding. We went to Ann Arbor, home to the University of Michigan. We enjoy visiting different university campuses when we travel, and Ann Arbor is one of the best. It is extensive, spacious, green (meaning the color), bookstoreful, and temperate. All of this assumes a summer visit, by the way.

Most pics turned out blurry (the camera was drowsy), but here's one of me and Cullen who was dancing near the diag.

I spent a lot of time in Ann Arbor in my teenage years. First, to buy used records and books. Then, to visit my sister and brother-in-law who taught me about the Christian life after I had been converted to Christ at age 17.75. Then, to visit my good friend Rob who was attending U of M.

Some old haunts:

And by the way, here's an updated photo of my mom and her five children:

Fifteen Books

2009-06-13T07:39:00.002-04:00

Finally, a Facebook quiz I can believe in. Hat tip to Joel Pearce. The rules are:

This can be a quick one, don't take too long to think about it. Come up with fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag 15 friends, including me because I'm interested in seeing what books my friends choose.

I will not tag 15 friends, sorry, but I'd love to know your list. Here is the list I came up with quickly, without much thought, in order to maintain honesty. I'm sure I'll regret certain books not being on this list. As with my circle of friends, most (not all) of these tend to be books I read early on during a foundational time in my life--there are many excellent books that should be here but did not enter my system early enough.

1. The Bible – and in particular, the burgundy bonded leather one that my mom gave me as a gift after I became a reluctant but joyful convert to Jesus Christ in 1988

2. Knowing God – J.I. Packer

3. How Long, O Lord? – D.A. Carson

4. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams

5. Desiring God – John Piper

6. A Quest for Godliness – J.I. Packer

7. He is There and Is Not Silent – Francis Schaeffer

8. The Church Before the Watching World – Francis Schaeffer

9. Hackers – Stephen Levy

10. Peanuts (all of them) – Charles Schultz

11. Far Side (the first ¾ of them) – Gary Larson

12. Calvin and Hobbs (all of them) – Bill Watterson

13. Doonesbury (all of them prior to Garry Trudeau’s sabbatical in the mid-80s, after which he lost his sense of humor completely)

14. No Compromise – biography of Keith Green by his wife Melodie

15. The Resurrection of the Son of God - N.T. Wright

Mark Driscoll says "Hey"

2009-06-05T07:40:00.026-04:00

In the midst of our action-packed life as of late, I was quite happy for Ken when doors quickly opened for him to attend the Advance 09 conference on short notice. But when I heard about it I wished I were going! I said to Ken the day before he left, "I wonder if you'll get to meet Mark Driscoll?" With 3,000 people expected it didn't seem likely. So I said, "Let's pray that you get to." "Why?" Ken said, "What would I say to him?"

What, indeed. Where should I start?

How about thanking him for making all of his media available, not just his incredible sermons but all of the talks from the Acts 29 church-planting conferences, material that is so applicable to and encouraging for (and yet absent from) pastoral ministry, and that it is all available for FREE? How about thanking him for being "reformed-theology-meets-refreshing practicality-and-applicability, in a no-holds-barred, passionate, authentic, contemporary way"? How about thanking him for being such a huge encouragement, yes, even a lifeline of sorts, to your wife as we serve the church?

Is that enough? Because I can keep going.

I first started listening to Mark Driscoll four years ago in NJ. I enjoyed him immediately, even read his first book, but my listening wasn't what one could call consistent. My life and schedule didn't lend itself well to that. As I was converted to a stay-at-home mom in VA, with afternoons full of home improvement projects while my little guy napped, I've listened to Driscoll podcasts on the iPod, at least weekly and at times daily, for the past 18 months. A steady diet, if you will. I won't go into the gory details of all I have learned about myself in this process. Suffice it to say I have identified and am disposing of (by God's grace) some major idols in my life. And my perspective on being married to a pastor has radically changed.

THANK HIM.

Well, after Ken got to Durham it seemed even more unlikely that he would have a chance to say anything to Driscoll in person. He called yesterday at the end of the first day's talks to report that, as suspected, the speakers did their thing and were gone. Furthermore, Ken is not even staying at the host hotel, but a mile away. Nevertheless that afternoon Ken prayed again, "if it is your will Lord."

A few hours later last night, Ken and the elder who is with him were looking for a dinner spot, walking down a street a few blocks off the main drag. As they walked, who should be coming *directly* their way but Driscoll, walking with a tech guy. Their paths met, Ken stopped them, and after some introductions and pleasantries, gave Driscoll some version of what I had suggested. Told him how much we both really appreciate his preaching. Told him that he (meaning Ken) has a "Yoda-wife," who has been greatly helped.

Driscoll thanked him and as they parted, said, "Say 'Hey' to your wife for me."

Advancement

2009-06-04T05:00:00.001-04:00

I've groomed the lawn and the Lord has watered it. I've had a restful five hours of sleep, dreaming about our family mole. I've packed my bags and books. And so now I'm ready for Advance09!

This is a conference in Durham, NC, in which 3/4 of my favorite preacher-mentors combine to discuss the topic that couldn't be nearer to my heart and soul--the church.

I have often said, I do not love the church because I am a pastor; I am a pastor because I love the church. (Note: But if you think that by "church" I mean buildings and pews, we need to talk!)

Following this conference, I'll be back to preach - would be hard not to - and then off to Michigan for Kelly's wedding and then Florida. The wedding will be great fun, whereas Orlando will be all business... well, business and worship and relationships. Kinda hard to explain.

I'm off.

Strawberry Fields Forever

2009-05-25T19:33:00.004-04:00

Thought I'd post a few more strawberry photos from our outing with our friend Jeanne on Thursday. Virginia Beach is an interesting mix of rural and convenience...the strawberry fields are minutes away from nice neighborhoods with all the shopping and restaurants you could want. We came home with 8 pounds--most of them got used in a strawberry bbq sauce for pulled pork. I wasn't sure about that but the recipe looked interesting and it WAS tasty! Soon it will be time for blueberries...

Getting Excited - Cullen's List

2009-05-25T15:46:00.004-04:00

And now, five things that Cullen is very excited about these days.

1) Strawberries. Cullen's always been a big fan of them, but the ones that are grown right here in Virginia Beach are the best! (Dad is pretty excited, too. Ditto Smarty.)

2) The great outdoors. It's great fun to walk on grass and dirt, not only hardwood and carpet! There is so much new to experience!

3) Getting bigger and faster. Soon he'll be outrunning mom and dad. Soon he'll be stronger than them, too - he has big plans for when that day comes!

4) Learning to swim. Cullen has had swim lessons for the past couple months, and he loves it! Okay, the truth is he usually isn't so thrilled. But we know he'll be glad when he jump off the diving board, go spearfishing, etc.

5) Bearing the ring. If you've read (or seen) Lord of the Rings, you know that ring bearing is an honor only entrusted to little people. Since Kelly hasn't seen Cullen in a while, she thinks he's still small and harmless and hobbit-like. He's getting ready for the big day on June 14, when he gets to be part of the big shindig, with Madison at his side!

Stay tuned - next time it's Daddy's list.

Cullen's Mom

2009-05-10T06:15:00.005-04:00

Cullen is blessed with a wonderful and devoted mom.

She always has Cullen's best interests at heart--meaning exceedingly close to her heart at all times.

She looks out for him--meaning she looks into the future and thinks about what he needs now to make sure his tomorrow is a happy one.

She is also (as our favorite preacher says) "Yoda smart"--meaning she has a lot of wisdom. He is already benefiting from this wisdom, though he may not realize it--as I understand it, though, kids begin appreciating their parents more and more each year, right?

I should note that she is much better looking.

Cullen is also blessed with a mom who is devoted to his dad. I'm so thankful for that.

Happy Mother's Day, Cheryl! You're the best mom a little boy could ask for, and the best a grown man could ask for too!

Spring Visit

2009-05-03T19:19:00.006-04:00

Just some family photos of Cullen from my parent's visit last week, and visiting my grandparents. Check out how red my hair looks!!! No color!

Big Day Theory

2009-04-22T06:00:00.001-04:00

Yesterday Cullen experienced a new place he enjoyed very much, which was a mini version of the Botanical Gardens...basically, a local nursery. Not a nursery with babies (he's been to those before) but a nursery with pots, plants, and flowers.

For the men who are reading this, don't worry--he didn't care about the flowers that much, what he enjoyed was hiking in the mud. At least, that's my summary. He was really having a great time between the mud, rocks, ramps, and stone pathways. It made me wish we were hiking Taum Sauk or simply Cowles Mountain (hmm, maybe even better).

Certainly Cullen's had bigger days. It was just a local nursery, and otherwise he was in normal routine mode. But I was thinking this morning that at his young age every day should be a big day for Cullen. Every day should hold some new experience for him, something new to learn.

As we get older, it's a little harder to have big days. We've seen it all. I think that's a huge reason that kids are so incredibly fun, we get to have big days through them. But I don't think that has to be the extent of bigness.

I hope that every day for me (and for you) will be a big day. If each day we are seeing something new in Christ, in His word--that's big. At this point in my life, I'm learning new things every day--and the list is still very, very long of what's left to learn. This in spite of plenty of college, seminary, and ministry experiences. We can be discouraged by our continual need to grow in Christ (instead of arriving at the end point)--or excited at the prospects.

That's my Big Day Theory. Now, some pictures...

* * *

These are pictures with Cullen's good friend, Balloon. He met Balloon weeks ago at a party. Balloon is getting older and slower, he doesn't fly so high anymore. But Cullen still loves him.

BONUS: In the mood to laugh? Here's one of the funniest things I've read lately: the lol theory.

Good Friday Flashback

2009-04-14T09:00:00.000-04:00

I came home Friday to find Cullen and Cheryl enjoying the beautiful weather.

Cullen was also working on his "moves":

Pastor and Apprentice

2009-04-07T15:12:00.003-04:00

Me and Cullen on Sunday morning:

Now, the question is... what explains this next picture?

I like to think Cullen was eager to get to church. Not sure. Any other ideas?

How's Everything?

2009-03-31T06:00:00.000-04:00

I'm writing this blog early today, to give you a chance to act on its wisdom.

Here are three recommendations for a happy and well-balanced day:

1. Recommended breakfast food: an everything bagel. Man, these are tasty. You can put egg and cheese inside for a bagel sandwich, though they're fine with just butter. Besides, for lunch you're having...

2. Recommended lunchtime food: an everything bagel sandwich. Tired of sandwiches on plain old bread? Of course you are. An everything bagel makes everything taste good (that's where it got its name).

3. Recommended dinner: Pizza. This breaks the pattern, but is a lifelong favorite that deserves a place on the list. If given the option, go with Cheryl's homemade pizza.

Another recommendation:

Recommended blog: Visit our friends Jeff and Aubrey here, and read a very moving post entitled "Not Your Doctor." Thank you, Aubrey, for sharing this.

Beta Testing

2009-03-14T05:43:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, our family was sharing Chick-fil-A with a neighbor. Cullen happily crawled around the room opening and closing drawers, playing with door handles, and attempting to bring the TV tray (which held our food) crashing down. We were successful at keeping the TV tray in place. However...

Suddenly, there were the following sounds: Swoosh, Bonk!, Whap!, Splash, Whap!, Splash.

It all happened very suddenly. I should note it was followed by a loud, alarmed cry on Cullen's part (see "Bonk!" above).

These sounds were those of Cullen pulling a little towel off our neighbor's dresser. The problem was that there was a small aquarium on top of the towel, with a little beta fish inside. That beta was now literally a fish out of water.

If you are wondering why there was no flop, flop sound, which you may expect in such a situation, it's because the fish lay motionless in stunned silence. He flopped eventually, and was given some new water. At last check, he was doing fine.

What is interesting about this whole episode is that, just yesterday morning, we saw a story on TV about some men who videotaped their fight with a shark off the Carolina coast. I wonder if Cullen was inspired by this to take on the beta?

The Vacationing Shomos

2009-03-11T14:00:00.001-04:00

It's vacation week here at the Shomo household. We decided to splurge this time around and travel to... Virginia Beach!

Monday was beautiful. We enjoyed First Landing State Park, a huge forest area with walking paths and such. Not unlike our favorite hiking areas in New Jersey!

Diligent readers of this blog will note that we've been to First Landing before... the picture on the right sidebar was taken there, when Cullen was younger and smaller. You'll notice I haven't changed much since then, though. Literally.

Speaking of New Jersey, on Tuesday we visited the part of Virginia - or at least our area - that I deem winner of the Impersonate New Jersey Contest. It's called Newport News.

What makes it Jersey-like is that, from the freeway, it seems like a place you'd only want to be from or drive through. And when you get off the freeway, there are crowded roads of convenience stores and gas stations.

However... keep driving, and you find a lot of parks and nice walking areas. It apparently has one of the largest city parks in the country, even. And some nice homes. Way to go, Jersey look-a-like!

We were only able to snap a few pictures, near "City Center."

Hooray for vacation time! It feels nice to explore.

We'll update you if we find anything else.

Tuesday Tips: How to Win a Lady's Heart

2009-03-03T20:39:00.004-05:00

In this first installment of Tuesday Tips, some advice for young men. If you wish to win the heart of a lady, you should dress like this:

The sweater vest is always a winner. Of course, the other important point - and you'll notice this if you look closely - is that you should be about 18 months old. The sweater vest really looks best on an 18 month old, and at that age you can still win that lady's heart without too many big expenditures.

Of course, there's always the danger of someone younger swooping in... Which isn't a problem if they're wearing hand-me-downs, but could be a big competition if they're fashion sensible. So don't delay!

(By the way, for you older guys... there's really not much hope... but you can try this.)

Who Hacked Our Poll?

2009-03-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

Last time we met, we discussed whether Facebook or All Things Shomo is the future of the internet. The poll - as of this typing, still running - finds blogs far ahead of Facebook. Yet the comments section was a different story, where Facebook was lauded, defended, and applauded.

Quite interesting... Either we have a wide following of blog readers whose motto is "Comment Not."

Or... Perhaps we have just one particular reader who is simply voting for blogs on the poll multiple times!

Yes, that would be a possibility. Cullen does spend quite amount of time on his laptop...

Showdown: Blogs vs. Facebook

2009-02-24T09:04:00.003-05:00

I'm asking for your vote.

In the last 12 hours I have read two different online articles concerning Facebook. The first claimed that Facebook is destroying relationships as we know them, and not only that, but harming our brains. An Oxford University neuroscientist (!!) is cited, provocatively, saying:

"We know how small babies need constant reassurance that they exist. ... My fear is that these technologies are infantilising the brain into the state of small children who are attracted by buzzing noises and bright lights, who have a small attention span and who live for the moment." (read full store here)

A different essay is entitled You Have No Friends: Everyone Else is on Facebook. Why Aren't You? Here we are told to basically get with the program (no pun intended). Like email and cellphones, Facebook has now reached a tipping point and there's no going back. You just gotta use it.

These different opinions correspond roughly to those in the Shomo household. My own, nuanced view is that Facebook is like an atomic bomb that has the potential to destroy civilization as we know it... but this bomb carries a nifty locator device so it can be helpful to find others and to be found. It should be handled carefully lest adulthood and maturity (including mature faith) as we know it vanish from the "face" of the earth, so we might need some PSA's concerning how to properly handle this WMD.

Here's where you come in... I'd like your vote concerning whether you prefer Facebook or blogs. And I'd like your comments regarding why. You can vote off to the right, and you can post comments below (aren't blogs great?).

You see, I like blogs: I can write in paragraphs. I can use punctuation. I can promote reflection and discussion. I can also post pictures of Cullen and stay connected to the family that way. And I like others' blogs, too. I like to know what others are thinking and grappling with. Facebook is nice for a few things (read: I'm not a luddite), especially finding old friends and keeping in touch. In fact, I enjoy this aspect quite well. But ultimately, blogs win in my world.

But will my world remain?

So, what do you think? Is Facebook "the bomb" or is it not? Are blogs better? Did you read this far?

It's About Time

2009-02-17T21:00:00.006-05:00

Cheryl felt it was time to post some recent pictures of Cullen. Indeed, it proved to be an excellent time, as today was Cullen's 18 month birthday! Eighteen. Wow, they grow up so fast!

Winter Wonderland

2009-02-16T09:28:00.003-05:00

I admit, I'm hesitant to create another weather-related post. Many of our readers are in colder, snowier, icier, more frost-bitten climates, and it comes across as boastful to comment on Virginia definitions of "winter."

However... I thought you would all be entertained by this:

On January 20, the Virginia Beach public schools had a snow day. This was not because there was anything like snow on the ground, but because the previous day the news stations had mentioned the word "snow" several times. And the word "snow" was sometimes coupled with the word "inches." So the schools celebrated a snow day much the way we celebrate Washington's birthday today - kind of like a party when the guest of honor (in this case, snow) could not actually attend.

So today, President's Day, was determined to be a "make up day" for the "snow" day. But today, there was actually snow on the ground! Not much, mind you, but a dusting... and in my neighborhood, some ice as well.

Such is life in Virginia Beach.

There is currently legislation in the House to bus children to Michigan on snow days, to guarantee that these days will be used properly.

Class of '88

2009-02-11T22:12:00.003-05:00

This picture was posted on Facebook by a fellow high school student, class of '88. I'm the one that looks like me but younger, skinnier. No, no, more toward the center and then go right...the tall guy with the blue shirt.

Super Bowl Sabbath (Flashback)

2009-02-01T07:24:00.004-05:00

Here is a post I created back in February '06, when the Seattle Seahawks met the Pittsburgh Steelers (yes, them again) in Super Bowl XL. And yes, I did have to visit Wikipedia to remember those teams.

“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.” Exodus 20:8

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1

In 1618, King James I of England issued the Declaration of Sports which enumerated which sports may be lawfully played on Sunday. Football was not one of them, but then again American football had not yet been invented. In any case, this declaration ruffled Puritan ministers of the time, who were committed to more strict “Sabbath” observance (recognizing Sunday as the “Christian Sabbath”). This debate blazed for decades, with the Declaration publicly burned by the Parliament in 1643.

Today, American Christians aren’t too worked up about sporting on the Sabbath. Nevertheless, there is an underlying issue that we must each examine: How exactly do we understand Christian freedom—that liberty we enjoy as sons and daughters of God through Jesus Christ? What does it mean to be freed from the rigor of the Old Testament law, and how does this relate in particular to the Ten Commandments (“Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy” is number four)?

Based on Galatians 4, I look at Christian freedom this way: You might tell your 5 year old child, “Don’t touch the stove!” But when he is grown, you allow him full access to the stove. You don’t give him extended freedom so he can burn his hand on the stove or stick his head in the oven, but because you expect him to have the wisdom to use it wisely. Similarly, God our Father gave us rules to follow in the Old Testament when we were “young.” Now that we are “grown,” we are expected to possess a greater maturity so that we can see behind the precise rules to their purpose. We are not expected to abuse our freedom (sticking our head in the oven) but take advantage of it (heat up our own frozen pizza).

How does this relate, then, to the Fourth Commandment in particular? God laid down many rules for Sabbath observance in the Law and the Prophets. For example, you could not pick up sticks on the Sabbath. Now that Jesus has come and the Scriptures are complete, we are expected to see the manifold wisdom of the Fourth Commandment and apply it accordingly. As spiritual grown ups, we should understand our needs for communion with God, fellowship with other believers, and true rest. We should also understand our responsibilities—to Christ’s church and to our families, friends, and neighbors. As we manage these needs and responsibilities, however, we are given freedom. To invite friends over for the Super Bowl, toss around a football with our son, or pick up sticks in the yard is our call; the Law is no longer acting as a referee.

But notice something: We are not to trample on God’s law like rebellious teenagers, but to honor God’s law like responsible young adults. Practically speaking, this means that we really think about how we use our time (or money, or whatever), and think about how we might use our freedom to honor our heavenly Father. God is not so concerned about whether we watch the Super Bowl or pick up sticks, but about the motivation behind these actions.

The Puritans were sometimes puritanical. However, their motivation was to honor God in all areas of life—and this is something we Americans need to learn a lot more about.

The Closer

2009-01-28T21:20:00.005-05:00

Cullen has recently learned to shut doors. He really, really likes to shut doors.

He is also learning to eat with a spoon...

I know at least one of my siblings will feel the need to remind me that I used to consider this very unsightly. Now, of course, it's exciting and cute.

One thing that is especially funny is how Cullen, having obtained the "neat" gene from one of his parents (we're still trying to figure out which one), feels the need to put wayward specks of oatmeal back into the bowl.

When kids learn things - even small things - their parents get excited. I was thinking this morning, as I snapped these pictures, that hopefully God feels that same joy when I learn things. Lately, for example, He's been teaching me to pray more specifically and meaningfully for others. Some of these lessons I should've learned a long time ago... But I hope that as God's child, even my small steps bring Him some kind of enjoyment. Or at least laughter...

Happy, Umm, New Year

2009-01-13T19:40:00.009-05:00

Happy New Year everyone! Even with the different time zones represented by the All Things Shomo readership, this sentiment is probably belated... given that it's 2 weeks into the new year already.

Anyway, here's what's new here:

Local News. Did you hear about the new aircraft carrier named after former president and navy pilot George H. W. Bush? That was commissioned here in Norfolk. All the ceremonies were invitation only (and included the former president, current president [not Obama], governor, etc.). My invitation was lost in the mail so I enjoyed reading about it like everyone else...

Religious News. Things have been very busy at New Covenant. Just finished preaching three sermons on a topic of renewed importance - the role of the word of God in the Christian's life. Which reminds me: we have a new church website which you might want to peruse. Still lots we'd like to add.

Animal News. Smarty is still grounded from the internet after that incident with the raw food order. Scoche is enjoying chuck it at the park but insists that we owe her frequent and longer recess times.

Cullen News. We're trying to keep Cullen on a regiment that will prepare him well for being a ring bearer in June! Here he is, checking his body fat:

Cullen also has to keep his weight down for wrestling matches:

He also learned about cell phones recently, and how to put up a big fuss when one is taken away. If your phone number is 850-036-6930, please forgive us for that call!

That's the news from here. More to come as 2009 rolls along.

Son of Growing Up Christmas

2008-12-30T14:13:00.012-05:00

Beachmas! Here's Cullen enjoying the ocean this past Saturday, with Cheryl's parents who are visiting from St. Louis. Perhaps you will consider joining us next Christmas? But there's no guarantees... for example, it's already back to a wintery 50 degrees or so today.

Back to more traditional considerations...

God was gracious to us, as he has clearly been family-wide, giving us many presents to open even though we made modest plans. And I didn't have my first laptop till I was 32 years old. Cullen has one at 16 months!

And I'm still saving up for my own helicopter. But not Cullen... he has his own helicopter and heliport.

And let's celebrate the New Year while we're at it, by reflecting on the changes a year brings.

Below: Cullen with several gifts of the past that keep on giving...

Yet can you believe this is the same boy a year ago, when he first received this gift?

It would be corny, I guess, to say that Cullen is the true gift that keeps on giving. Or that the Lord is the giver who keeps on giving. But both those ideas would be correct. We're a very blessed family.

And that includes all of us, doesn't it?

Cullen Checks In

2008-12-22T07:47:00.002-05:00

Cullen is quietly awaiting Christmas. His Grandma and Grandpa from St. Louis are coming to visit, which he doesn't fully realize yet - he'll be very surprised when he wakes up from his afternoon nap on Christmas day.

So what's there do around here? Well, you don't need TV when you have your very own whippet zoo...

Nor do you need a TV when you have a light sabre!

It is this father's conviction that every child needs his own light sabre. If not a real one (perhaps when he's a little older) at least an imaginary one for now. There's much to learn: proper care and handling, safety features, etc...

But as always, with great power comes great responsibility!

Seriously Now (Jesus, Narrow Doors, and Money)

2008-12-19T06:00:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I enjoyed with a friend a Chinese buffet. The most comprehensive and classy Chinese buffet I've ever experienced, by the way, and all on the cheap.

My friend's fortune cookie told him, "Keep following the narrow path for now." We found this funny, if that's the right word, since Jesus basically said, "Follow the narrow path and don't ever get off it, or you'll end up in utter and eternal darkness" (see Luke 13:22-30).

Well, my mind has been on serious matters this past week. So I recognize this post isn't for everybody. But I hope you will give it your time.

The other morning I woke up thinking about the nation's economy (who hasn't?). And I pondered God's plan (who hasn't?). I thought about how different God's priorities are than ours, and how Christians and others just don't handle prosperity well. And then, later, I read one of the many times Jesus addressed money and possessions:

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:19-21).

And then:

"No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money [mammon]" (v.24).

And then, finally, I read the following in an excellent commentary on Matthew by Craig Blomberg (a go-to guy for all things gospels). This was published nearly two decades ago. Now I warn you, in blogging terms, these two paragraphs are going to seem long. But they are worth it!

Blomberg is commenting on the phrase "no one can serve two masters."

Against those who might protest that they can accumulate both spiritual and earthly treasures, Jesus replies that they have only two options. They must choose between competing loyalties. "Master" suggests a slaveowner who required total allegiance. People could not serve two masters in the way in which people today often work two jobs. "Money" is more literally mammon, referring to all of a person's material resources. Of course, many people do try to cherish both God and mammon, but ultimately only one will be chosen. The other will be "hated," if only by neglect...

Many perceptive observers have sensed that the greatest danger to Western Christianity is not, as is sometimes alleged, prevailing ideologies such as Marxism, Islam, the New Age movement or humanism but rather the all-pervasive materialism of our affluent culture. We try so hard to create heaven on earth and to throw in Christianity when convenient as another small addition to the so-called good life. Jesus proclaims that unless we are willing to serve him wholeheartedly in every area of life, but particularly with our material resources, we cannot claim to be serving him at all.

Jesus' words were published in 60 AD and Blomberg's in 1992. They deserve consideration today, wouldn't you agree?

Growing Up Christmas

2008-12-11T22:19:00.005-05:00

And now I ask all readers to share their favorite Christmas memories. And if you are a Christian I ask, in addition, whether you think the giving and exchanging of gifts detracts from celebrating the birth of Christ.

For as I reflect on my Christmas memories, I would say that the first ones that come to mind involve presents. In particular, I recall the Christmas in which there so many presents that my little boy brain could hardly take it all in. Of course, I since learned that my childhood home was half the size that I thought it was, so feel free to cut these memories down to size.

On that particular Christmas, I received this:

You see, I played with Star Wars figures back when "Episode IV" was the only episode. This was the late 1970s, before many of you were born. But I didn't know a toy like this even existed - a Millenium Falcon (Han Solo and Chewie's spacecraft). And to believe that I got it for Christmas - amazing!

And I think that amazement is why that particular Christmas was so striking to me. I somehow viewed our family as not having all that much money, not able to get the latest and the greatest stuff. I don't know why I thought this, exactly, but I did. And so this particular Christmas morning brings to mind feelings of happiness and surprise, not greed and entitlement.

I just want to also note that this particular, surprising Christmas was also one when our entire family was together - which at that time was 5 kids. This was before those older siblings of mine left home for distant galaxies. But then, eventually, new memories were created... from times when younger readers of this blog actually existed:

Okay, so now it's your turn. What are your favorite memories?

Calling All Shomos - The Secret Shomo Gift Exchange!

2008-12-03T22:16:00.006-05:00

This important announcement is for the entire Shomo family.

"Shomo family" includes anyone who is a Shomo, was a Shomo, married a Shomo, and children of Shomos. In other words, you - yeah, you.

Welcome to the first annual Secret Shomo Gift Exchange! This is a way to exchange gifts even though our family has gotten very, very big. It's like Secret Santa, but better. It's...

Secret Shomo.

To participate, you must respond by the end of the day this Friday, December 5.

These are the rules:

1. To be eligible, you must be 18 or over. However, those under 18 may participate if their parents take ultimate responsibility.
2. The Secret Shomo Gift Exchange coordinators will randomly draw names. No one else will know whose name you have.
3. You may buy your Shomo one gift or several smaller gifts, but please don't spend over $25. It's the thought that counts.
4. To help facilitate appropriate gift-giving, please create a wishlist on Amazon.com or send some suggestions to me via email (which will be forwarded to your Secret Shomo). Gifts do not necessarily have to be chosen from the list, but the lists will provide ideas.
5. Your gift must be postmarked by Thursday, December 18, to insure that your Shomo receives his or her gift by Christmas day.
6. Do not do anything that will give away whose name you have!

This will be a lot of fun. There are currently around 30 eligible "Shomos".

You may post your questions in the comments section, but more importantly...

Respond now to confirm that you'll take part!

Early Results Are In

2008-12-01T21:00:00.011-05:00

Here are the first fruits of the new camera (and a look at Cullen's haircut). The last one is my favorite, that is Cullen asking to be put to bed :-) So long red-eye, adios out-of-focus...

Thanksgiving Day 2008

2008-11-27T09:16:00.004-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good" (Psalm 107:1).

Cheryl and I are enjoying a quiet day. She'll be baking some pies, and we'll be enjoying time with friends this afternoon - a wonderful and hospitable family from our church.

Cullen, meanwhile, has been happily playing. He's been enjoying that Tonka truck he was given for his birthday, and we also bought him a little dumptruck that carries his blocks. He definitely needed some new toys, and trucks are a big hit these days. For what it's worth, he likes to throw trucks also.

We'll miss the Shomo Side over Thanksgiving and Christmas... please come visit in the spring (or sooner)! If it's any incentive, let me remind me that even though it occasionally snows down here it doesn't stick... Forecast for today is sunny and 59 degrees.

Don't Tell Cheryl, But...

2008-11-21T07:37:00.004-05:00

Forecast for Virginia Beach from weathercentral.com.

Don't tell Cheryl, but it's snowing in Virginia Beach today. I tried to take a picture but the camera objects, and refuses to do it. Our camera has always wanted Cheryl's approval, and I suspect this is why it takes her side on issues like this.

I've heard rumors of snow in this area before, but didn't think it would happen here. Especially in light of global warming...

Friends and family who associate the word "beach" with "Pacific Beach" or "La Jolla Cove" in San Diego can now understand that there are a few slight distinctions between where we live now and where I lived then!

First Haircut

2008-11-19T13:30:00.006-05:00

No more "Cullen The Longshanks" -- 15 month old Cullen had his first haircut today, courtesy of our friend Amy, who did the deed in a spare room at the church. As you might notice, Cullen wasn't happy about the experience, but in his defense he is not feeling well from a couple vaccines he got yesterday. It's not a dramatic difference, I just wanted the back cleaned up a little...it needed it but the curls are gone :( I think it was almost as traumatic for me as it was for him! And thanks to another friend Alice we have photos of this momentous occasion... I forgot my camera (which is not hard to do considering it is a real pain to use). I have good camera news though, I am getting a DSLR for Christmas and I am so excited!!! The photos on our blog should definitely improve.

Who Goes There

2008-11-18T07:19:00.002-05:00

Blog activity is low in the family realm these days, I notice (except Karen, who's keeping the dream alive). Here's another picture from our trip to the Northeast, sent by Cullen's Grandpa Jim.

Best of the Best

2008-11-15T17:01:00.005-05:00

These are some of the best family pictures from our trip. We have more to share, but didn't want to miss out on posting these. I'm taking a personal privilege and posting my favorite scene first - Cullen and Dad, celebrating the best season of all in the beautiful Northeast!

Here's Cullen and Mom:

The family:

Two grandmas (one great) and Cullen:

These are certainly the best of times!

Meet the Brackins

2008-11-08T20:39:00.005-05:00

We are enjoying northern New Jersey right now, where we are staying with our good friends the Brackins. This is Cullen and Judah:

Chatting between poses:

An Autumn walk:

Cullen and Judah's Dad:

When we prepared for this trip, I thought it was for the sake of us adults, and hopefully Cullen would do okay. I think I had it backwards. God had special plans for Cullen!

Political Hopes

2008-11-07T15:11:00.002-05:00

To round out election week, allow me to direct you to an article that summarizes well my thoughts concerning the election of Barack Obama. It is by David Brooks, whom I commended earlier this week, and it is in today's New York Times. (How's that for reaching across party lines?)

I should note that I ran across this column when visiting New York City today, to see friends from my days in the Metro New York Presbytery. Some great guys.

Brooks writes:

I have dreams. I may seem like a boring pundit whose most exotic fantasies involve G.A.O. reports, but deep down, I have dreams. And right now I’m dreaming of the successful presidency this country needs. I’m dreaming of an administration led by Barack Obama, but which stretches beyond the normal Democratic base. It makes time for moderate voters, suburban voters, rural voters and even people who voted for the other guy. (To read entire column online, go to http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/07/opinion/07brooks.html?_r=1&oref=slogin)

Off to a Big Celebration

2008-11-05T11:19:00.003-05:00

For Cullen's great-grandpa!

Here's a photo from the last time they were together:

Last time, Cullen worked the crowd. This time there will be an even bigger crowd... Who knows what could happen?

Special Election Day Coverage

2008-11-04T05:00:00.004-05:00

I've followed this election for over a year. I remember thinking back then, Whoever wins the Democratic nomination will win the presidency - so I better pay attention while it still matters. Well, the election turned out to be more volatile, and more interesting, than that. At least for a while.

Reflecting on the events of the past two years (!), here is my list of biggest losers and biggest winners of the election process so far. Some of this may seem counterintuitive, but this is all from my personal point of view.

Biggest Losers

#1. The Media. They were certain that today we would be deciding between Rudy Guiliani and Hillary Clinton. They declared McCain's candidacy dead, and counted Mike Huckabee out too; yet they were the two Republicans remaining until, obviously, McCain sealed it up. Concerning both Republicans and Democrats, they wrongly predicted various state primaries - especially early ones.

#2. The New York Times. They deserve a special place among the media losers. I had always known their coverage was disbalanced, but this year they stopped even trying to appear fair minded. Appearing more like a tabloid than an esteemed elder statesman, the NYT basically launched a get-out-the-vote campaign for the left.

#3. Meet the Press. Tim Russert died earlier this year, and was replaced by Tom Brokaw. Tim Russert interviewed in a way that was extremely fair but tough, and he enjoyed life to boot. Regarding Tom Brokaw, see #2, above.

#4. Mitt Romney. My greatest concern was that this man not receive the Republican Party's nomination. Fortunately, he didn't. Even though he had all the money - which was easy prey for incorrect media assumptions (see #1, above) - people just didn't like him. If he wasn't fake, he did a good job pretending to be.

#5. The Democrats. I've always been told that Republicans house the racists in this country, that the Democrats are concerned about minorities. But the primaries proved that there is plenty of racism in the Democratic Party. The Clintons (also big losers in all this) tried to capitalize on it, to their shame. ("Saturday Night Live" was surprisingly one of the media outlets that covered this aspect.)

#6. Conservative Talk Radio. Rush Limbaugh and a host of others hated McCain, before McCain became the functional savior. Now it's all about hating Barack Obama and fearing his policies. Some of his policies are to be feared, I fear, especially concerning human rights issues. But you know, you gotta do better than this guys (and ladies)...

#7. Priorities. We really don't need a 2-year presidential campaign. Do we realize how bad this is for the country? Not only will politics completely destroy policy, if it hasn't already, but more than ever we are fed the lie that the highest office is the highest power. No -- there is a God who created the universe who deserves higher praise, greater trust, and ultimate allegiance.

Biggest Winners

#1. John McCain. He could lose in a landslide today. But who would have thought that a Republican could have ever been this competitive? Had the major news outlets treated him and his opponent on equal terms, he might have even pulled this off. I'm certain he wouldn't have gone as negative if the campaign hadn't been "about" Obama, but I must admit - that's one aspect of this campaign that's been disappointing.

#2. Sarah Palin. Apart from choosing her, McCain could not have generated the energy he needed this fall. So I for one don't buy the bad rap she's getting now, as being a drain on the ticket. Who should McCain have chosen? Some experienced person, who happened to be male? Palin has some serious deficits, some of which she shares with her rivals anway. But as a pro-life woman in high office, which means a woman in high office who upholds basic human rights, she is a force to be reckoned with.

#3. A Few Good Men (and women). Last night I saw the most intelligent interview yet concerning the election. It made me realize how few there are. The interview was with David Brooks of the New York Times. Yes, the NYT needs to be forever discredited and dismantled, but that's for their reporting: they do have a few good columnists. A great reason to watch the Jim Lehrer News Hour on PBS, the other reason being Jim Lehrer. A few, very few, others have been helpful as well. I appreciate 'em when I find 'em.

#4. The Shomos. Just as the primaries were heating up, Cullen James Shomo was born - on August 17, 2007.

#5. God. God is the one who allows men and women to rise or fall. Sometimes it's for our blessing, sometimes it's for our chastening, sometimes it's to reveal our hearts. We rarely know on election day. But he has his way.

Shadow Ops

2008-10-31T22:00:00.000-04:00

I highly recommend having only one blog. Not two. Not three. And I speak from experience.

Nevertheless, I do write on our church blog, over here. At this point, I'm unsure whether to import those same posts onto this site or not; for now, they are separate--rogue posts, as far as this site is concerned.

But anyway, I wanted to draw your attention to them because I'm going to try to enliven that site again (even as the church website is slowly being recreated) and will perhaps post more often. Keep an eye out for new posts listed under "Pastor Shomo" on the blogroll.

For those concerned about Smarty, we allow her to blog whenever something interesting happens in her life.

The Shadow Knows

2008-10-26T15:41:00.003-04:00

Here's a little online "Rorschach Test" for you. What do you see in the image below?

Here's what I see:

But that's just me...

Some recent photos

2008-10-19T18:48:00.010-04:00

I've been busy with the house and haven't posted in awhile, so thought I would put up some photos.

Cullen with Frog. More appropriate would be a photo of Cullen with Dog. Frog is seemingly a poor substitute for Dog, but works in a pinch. (Reality: Cullen cannot go to sleep without Dog...we have created a monster and need to find a second Dog asap, should something unfortunate ever happen to the original.)

Cullen has recently become very interested in books! (We were starting to worry about him!)

Favorite toys, Farmer Tad and the basket ball hoop.

These are from today, right before we went to the park. Too bad Cullen wasn't in the picture-taking mood. Still kind of cute.

He did a little better for dad.

And in case you want to know what the dogs have been up to....they had a nice run at the little neighborhood park today. (The jungle gym was Ken's idea.)

The End!

Pride and Humility

2008-10-16T06:51:00.002-04:00

If I were to write the story of my life I would title it Pride and Humility. The interchange between the two summarizes well my personal life and also my experiences in Christian ministry. In fact, as a new Christian I once prayed, “Lord, always deal with me about pride.” I prayed this because I knew pride would likely always be an issue that would require attention. Little did I know how true this was.

I was a prideful teenager. Now, you might say “all teens are prideful,” though I’ve learned that is not quite true. Even so, my pride was of a different sort. I was not only prideful, I was proud of being prideful. It was an exponential sort of pride.

Humility entered my life through two channels: The passing of time, and the work of the gospel. While everyone experiences the humility brought by time and circumstances, not everyone experiences the effects of the gospel (though I pray they would). The gospel is able to go to work against our pride long before time and chance set in.

The work of the gospel began in earnest for me at age 17. To embrace the gospel, as I did at that time, requires a degree of humility. It is humbling to admit you need anyone, including God. It is humbling to admit that you need him, not in the abstract, but in the very real daily experiences of your life. But the gospel also brings humility in a more profound way: God works deep inside us, changing us, making us something different than ourselves and yet also a better, more complete version of ourselves.

When I became a Christian, then, I became humble. To a degree. So imagine my surprise when, only a few years later, I realized my pride had continued to influence my actions and had blunted my witness for Christ. Pride hadn’t been fully vanquished. The cure for pride was now in my system, doing its work, but it was not an overnight cure.

For his own reasons, God wants us as Christians to live out our earthly life as if we are battling a disease. The strong medicine of the gospel must be administered throughout our lives as we continue this fight. The good news: First, we are given the promise of eternal rest, when the struggle will cease and we will be fully cured. Second, we experience – immediately – the beneficial effects of the cure, so that we have a foretaste of that coming day of complete health. And third, we experience – more gradually – victories throughout our life, both large and small.

The other day I was reading Isaiah 66, which has something to say about this:

Thus says the Lord:
“Heaven is my throne,
and the earth is my footstool;
what is the house that you would build for me,
and what is the place of my rest?
All these things my hand has made,
and so all these things came to be,
declares the Lord.
But this is the one to whom I will look:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit
and trembles at my word. (Isaiah 66:1-2)

Think of how long ago this was written. Hint: hundreds of years before Christ’s birth.

Think of how long God has been dealing with pride.

Happy Birthday, Mommy!

2008-10-14T16:01:00.003-04:00

Happy Birthday, Ma-ma-ma!

Whippets Vs Windsurfers

2008-10-09T07:28:00.005-04:00

A few weeks ago, Scoche had it out with some local windsurfers. She really doesn't like our air space violated...I think it's a national security thing.

She enlisted Smarty in this burgeoning branch of the Coast Guard, and they actually did keep a windsurfer from coming back to shore! A little funny, a little embarrassing. We eventually granted clearance.

Woodworking World View

2008-10-05T15:24:00.005-04:00

Cullen's favorite store is Home Depot. No kidding. Walmart trips have been ill-advised, Barnes & Noble outings short-lived.

But take Cullen to Home Depot and he is enthralled. He might get a little upset if you linger too long in the electrical outlet aisle, presumably because he'd like to see more of the store; otherwise, he's wide-eyed and eager to take it all in.

I would prefer that Cullen take an interest in books about home repair, not home repair itself. Then we could hang out the bookstore for hours on end. But until then, it behooves me to take a bit of an interest in something other than books and ideas.

Enter woodworking.

Last week I started my Monday evening woodworking course. And I thought, those of you who have never taken a woodworking course might enjoy learning a bit about the world of woodworking.

Well, here's lesson one: Safety.

We were told the first night that safety is paramount. And a major part of safety is concentration. Do what you're doing, don't let yourself be distracted. Calling someone's name while they're using the table saw is frowned upon. Fingers and blades are encouraged to be kept separate.

This was very interesting to me. Safety. Concentration. Very, very interesting. It occurred to me that I rarely keep my mind on one (and only one) thing. I am usually multitasking. When I mow the lawn, I listen to music on my iPod; when I work, I have numerous matters cluttering up my mind like a congested intersection. Even that metaphor was mixed.

Woodworking - a whole new way of looking at the world!

NOTE: The pictures here are of Cullen (not me). And he's using plastic (not wood).

Weeds

2008-09-30T20:00:00.003-04:00

Sunday I preached a sermon in which I likened covetousness to a horrible weed growing in our lawn. You cannot pluck the weed out of the ground, you have to dig beneath it - where you find things like idolatry and dissatisfaction with God. (See here, here, and here.)

So imagine my surprise when, that very afternoon, I came home to find this bizarre growth in my backyard:

What is that? Let's take a closer look.

I'm going to have to think about that sermon a little bit more.

Our American Life

2008-09-27T07:39:00.006-04:00

So, Cheryl got me listening to This American Life. She even bought me some "best of" CDs for my birthday. If you need a laugh this weekend, which I'm certain you do, take time to listen to this classic story about a high school fiasco. The analysis of what makes for a fiasco is also instructive. Did you have a garden variety "bad day" or was it a "complete fiasco"? This will help you sort through your experiences.

So I'm listening to another episode, which includes a story about a rock band touring the public library circuit. It takes place in my home state of Michigan, especially the U.P. Not many people know what U.P. stands for or that Michigan has one. And then I recall... I think my sister blogged, or I suppose emailed me, about this story a couple years ago...

Meanwhile, our American Life is a story all its own...

Each time the babysitter comes over, we have one less piece of furniture. When she started there were two couches, now currently the living room is down to two kitchen chairs and Cullen's toys. (There's good reason.) The closest thing to a couch is the porch swing. And someone just called today about maybe buying the porch swing. So it could be that next week that will be gone too!

The reason, by the way, is that we are getting new furniture. Cheryl's worked hard to find the best furniture at the best price, and I'm very thankful for that. It'll be here in about six weeks. But until then, our babysitter is probably being interviewed by Ira Glass...

Ira: So there's, like, no furniture in the whole house?

Melissa: NO! And I'm thinking to myself, like, the next thing I know there won't even be a porch swing!

Ira: Does the baby have a crib?

Melissa: Oh, yes, he's totally taken care of.

Ira: Well that's a relief.

Melissa: But I'm seriously like having to sit on the floor the whole time I'm there.

Wood and Wires

2008-09-21T21:15:00.003-04:00

There are certain things that I can do around the house. These include:

- Replace electrical outlets, switches, and lights. With help, I did a ceiling fan too.

- Stain a deck, although Cheryl is still waiting on proof of this one.

- Make breakfast, for adults or babies.

- Pop in a DVD.

But I know my limits, and there are other things I can't do so well. These include:

- Add an addition onto the house.

- Build and install new cabinets.

- Create the perfect rocking chair.

- Appear on "This Old House," giving tips about how to use jig saw, scroll saw, or oscillating edge sander.

So tomorrow night I begin a woodworking class. It's my own experiment in whether median-age dogs can learn new tricks.

Let's see how long I last...