Panera is my favorite "second place." Plenty of tables and windows, and quite flexible. You can spend $2 for coffee and then milk that for a couple hours. Or, you can spend more for a "You Pick Two" (Frontega Chicken and Broccoli Cheddar Soup, with french bread) and a small drink. Oh, and a cookie. But that gets expensive.I guess that is the problem. It's actually two extremes... Mere coffee or a filling, fattening feast.
The other day I needed, desperately, a place to study.
* Obvious answer: Panera.
* Problem: it was lunchtime, and I didn't want to spend too much.
This is the story of how I gamed the system.
Should I go to Panera? It's right there. But I need lunch... I really can't keep spending money on eating out.
I know what I'll do: I will only order soup. You get soup and bread, pretty filling, and it's cheap. Like, just over $3. It's the loophole that Panera has not yet tied. Only I know this.
Moments later:
Hmm, they raised the price of the soup. But not by too much... Mmm, corn chowder sounds good.
"May I help you?"
"Corn chowder soup, please."
"With french baguette?"
"Yes." (Yes! Yes! It's working!)
"Anything to drink?"
"Just a cup for water, thanks." (I don't fall for that one. They have lemons. I'll be fine.)
"Would you like a cookie with that?"
"No thank you." Pause. "Unless you're on commission or something." (Obviously they don't sell cookies on commission.)
"No, but we're kind of having a contest about who can sell the most of them."
NO!!! You can't combine soft cookies and heated competition - that's a combination that cannot be resisted. Auuugghhh.
"Okay, I'll take one."
"That will be $6.05."
No! I don't have change! That means I'm basically spending $7 since change doesn't count as actual money. Well, now I have to use a credit card so I can round it down.
At the table:
This can be fixed. I will give the cookie to Cheryl. Or half of it. What the heck, she doesn't want this wretched thing. Okay, I hope I get some good study time in.
Four hours later, I left Panera. That's about $1.50 per hour.
Or, if you divide by $7, about $1.75 per hour...
7 comments:
This is hilarious!! And so exceedingly Ken-like. I'm laughing and missing our seminary trips to Panera.
"they have lemons, I'll be fine"
I love it!
Jeff
I love the story too, especially because of my strong affection for Panera. I however prefer St. Louis Bread Company.
-Mark
You are toooo funny. You also may have helped that Panera employee win a great prize so you were helping mankind while eating the cookie.. happiness all around!
karen
That's funny! I love Panera...but it is rather expensive. We do contests at Bob Evans all the time and the other night one of my tables bought a piece of coconut cream pie just so I could win! It was pretty cool :) Way to help that person sell another cookie!
Classic Ken....Ken you are too funny. I needed a laugh! And it is Classic Jeff to say "exceedingly Ken-like"! Laughing...laughing..
mmmm I used to go to panera every morning i worked. I had a cup of coffee waiting between clients, and sometimes even a bagel.
I mean, it's no HeBrews, but it sure is awesome. ;-)
I love panera! You should go there for breakfast instead of lunch and get a bagel with cream cheese. You must try the cinnamon crunch bagel with raspberry cream cheese. $3.09 with tax!
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